He’s got a face worth paying good money for; in fact, Ross used to sell his face for advertisements! (It’s not as sordid as it sounds.) A Natural Sciences graduate from Cambridge turned entrepreneur and science writer, Ross seems to be pretty good at whatever he turns his hand to. It’s great news, then, that Ross is now a fully-fledged member of team Guru and has become Deputy Editor (alongside Jon Crowe). It hasn’t gone to his head yet but he has given up his last name and replaced it with “The Deputy Editor”. (Kidding of course, he is still legally known as Ross Harper, but he does sport a badge that says “I will edit you out of existence”.)
Without further ado, let’s find out about Ross, what his secret agent name is, and how he will overcome the zombie apocalypse.
Guru: Hey Ross, welcome to the team. What were you doing before you joined Guru?
Ross: I was born in a quiet little town called London, and, like most young boys, when I grew up I wanted to be like my dad. It just so happened that my dad was a scientist.
[Rest of life story edited]
In 2011, I graduated from the University of Cambridge with a degree in Natural Sciences. At this point, I threw off the gown and labelled myself an entrepreneur, starting up two businesses: a viral marketing website, BuyMyFace.com, and an app-development company called Wriggle Ltd. I had two years of fun – skydiving, skiing, TV appearances, and even at one point I was appointed ‘Youth Ambassador’ by the International Olympic Committee – but I could never quite shake my passion for science.
To satisfy my erm… urges… I tried writing articles in my spare time, but it wasn’t enough. Science is a merciless vice. Eventually, I decided to jump on board with Guru and I haven’t looked back since!
Guru: What was it about Guru that got you to start contributing?
Ross: Hmmm, I should probably talk about how I’ve always loved writing, and how for as long as I can remember, I’ve had a natural drive to communicate and share scientific knowledge with others. But that would be misleading. The truth is I’m a latecomer to this game. Granted, I was always one of the more creative scientists in my class. And it’s true that I enjoy communicating and having my voice heard. But I left university with no formal journalistic training.
That’s why Guru is so great. Very few publications offer the same level of care and support to their contributors. It isn’t just a magazine; it’s a community of like-minded people working together to produce something truly unique. The fact is I can write – I know that. But you can bet other publications wouldn’t have been so welcoming. Guru looks at the person, not the CV, and it certainly pays off when you consider the quality of our magazine!
Ah shucks, I’m just going to say it. Guru, will you marry me?
Guru: Unfortunately, we’re married to science, Ross. She’s a harsh mistress. Getting back to the topic at hand with an easy question, which season is better, winter or summer?
Guru: What would your secret agent name be?
Ross: I’m currently using my first choice of secret agent name, so I’ll give you my second choice:
Why? Because no one suspects the butterfly mwahahaha! (Points awarded for getting the reference.)
Guru: Run us through your zombie apocalypse plan? Don’t worry, we won’t plagiarise any of your ideas but we will judge you for not having a plan at all.
Ross: A valid request – I’m glad you brought this up.
Given the sudden appearance of zombies without any prior warning, I think it’s reasonable to assume you’re at Ground Zero. In which case, the zombies probably came from a fairly well funded laboratory somewhere in the immediate vicinity (we all know it’s going to happen eventually). So first things first, we need to burn down every lab within a 20-mile radius. I think this would be best achieved through vigilantism, although I’m open to suggestions.
Once all the labs are gone and the mad scientist who caused all this trouble has been held accountable, it would be time to deal with the remaining zombies (who will most likely have been chowing down and multiplying during the first stages of my plan). No problem, of course, because that would mean more zombie heads for us ‘norms’ to bash in. A baseball bat will be my weapon of choice, but I’m anything if not diplomatic, so I would grant people the right to choose their own implement of zombie-pummelling awesomeness.
Then it’s just a case of ‘going nuts’. I suggest trying to make a game out of it: How many undead corpses can you re-kill in 5 minutes? – or perhaps – Zombie Double Kill (where you have to take out two zombies in one fluid swing). This final part of the plan shouldn’t take too long. The fact is, nature dealt zombies a pretty bad hand – both their food source and method of reproduction involve trying to take down an animal of equal size with superior intellect, which is also armed to the teeth and present in greater numbers. The odds don’t look good for our grey-skinned friends.